Sometimes a certain something will remind me of the person i used to be. Not that person on the outside that everyone sees but that private being we keep to ourselves that only a privledge few are inclined and allowed to see. I had one of those instances today i read something and it reminded me. it is amazing the impact those words have on a human. Remind Me. But i digress back to talking about me. i feel like i am dying, shrivling into an abyss of my own making, i have no drive and no will. i smile daily and live my life but OMG there is this dormate beast within and i want to kick it awake. just thinking of it frustrates me. i want to feel ravenous again. you see when i lost my hunger for people i replaced it with food well guess what i can no longer fill that need with food so i am STARVED for that illicit reaction i get from people. but here i am rambling sorry if i sound stupid.